So I feel quite disappointed today
For all of you who feel like reading this go ahead, i’m just blogging out my frustrations with the turn of events and open for advise.
So my frustrations …
I like this boy, at first I just thought he was good looking but as I got to know him a little better I really started to get a crush, and right now i’m crushing quite madly.
I decided that today was going to be the day that I told him I fancied him and I would ask how he feels about me.
Now the reason I picked today was quite easy, I need to go to my university for a while to have exams. So basically I won’t be home/at the gym where he works for a week or two. I felt I had to ask him if he liked me and if he did I would ask his number.
Before I went to bed last night, whilst in bed and early this morning I had a whole load of different scenario’s that could happen today. I thought that I would ask him straight away, or I’ll change into my gym clothes first. I thought how he might say he didn’t fancy me at all and I would be heartbroken at first but I would be allright because at least I would know. I even had this crazy idea that he’d be so nervous to talk to me with people around he took me to the back and would admit he fancied me as well and that I might have even kissed him. I would love to kiss him!
Now none of that happened, here is what happened
I had butterflies in my stomach and was too nervous to eat, my dad drove me to the gym because it was too cold outside to go by bicycle. I got out of the car and I was shaking whilst walking to the entrance, I wasn’t shaking from cold but I was shaking from nerves, I felt so calm before but right as I was about to open the door I almost sank through my knees because it was just too much.
I opened the door, I didn’t see him, I figured he must be out back so I relaxed a bit. I walked straight through to get my ticket for the classes I was going to follow, still no sign of him. By now I thought he might just come in later (sometimes he does that) so I decided to go and change. When I got back he still wasn’t there so I went to my first class. At the end of the class I asked someone if she saw if he was there yet, no sign. On to the next class, now I didn’t bother checking if he was there then, I went to shower put my clothes and make up on and went outside (did put in quite a bit of effort to look naturally healthy as if it was summer and not freezing winter, you know the things some blush, longer eyelashes and raspberry red lips), he still wasn’t there.
So the beginning of possibly a fairytale, it didn’t even happen.
I don’t know if I should feel upset or disappointed to be honest, I really wanted to have his phone number so I could text him during my study time, if he would like me (and according to people he does but i’m not sure because sometimes he shows so much interest in me and then it’s as if i’m air, as if i’m not even there).
Now some of my friends there are going to ask him, well not ask, more like try to find out if he likes me. Wednesday i’ll know, thursday the 16th i’m going back and i’m not sure if I should try again. Maybe it was a sign, and if I asked him now and he said no at least I wouldn’t have to face him everyday. If I ask him thursday i’ll see him almost every day there and if he says yes i’ll feel awkward because i’d feel as if we’d have to go on a date but I still have one exam so it’s not as if I can completely relax.
I’m not sure where to go from here
I’ll just see what happens, if it’s meant to be it will happen, if not then I’ll find someone else.
But if anyone reading this has some advice, some tips or some idea’s feel free to let me know. If anyone wants to know more about my situation I won’t mind updating (i’ll probably update because I like to blog about my feelings).